What's so great thing about clothes is that they're artificial - you can lie, you can choose the way you look, which is not true of natural beauty. So if you're naturally beautiful, wear what you want, but that's 01% of people. Most people just aren't good looking enough to wear what they have on. They should change. They should get some slacks and a nice overcoat. Remember when the style was incredibly messy hair? That's great if you're a model. But if you're not a model, you would look better if you washed your hair, because you are not beautiful.

I just can't smile at people for money.

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

I never would start writing before midnight and I would finish at, like, seven in the morning.

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word "collectible" as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.