Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

By the time everyone catches up with you, you're bored.

New Yorkers, we've seen Donald Trump for, like, 30 years; we know who he is. So he wasn't a surprise to me.

The first people who died of AIDS were artists. They were the most interesting people.

Writing pornography is deadly, nothing duller. I mean a toll-taker has a more exciting life than a pornographer.

Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??

Think before you speak. Read before you think.