I asked a shop owner if he could help me out. He said: "What way did you come in?"

I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.

America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million.

Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?

Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.

There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: "I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous."

There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.