I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside "made around the corner."

The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.

Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: "Have a drink on me." The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.

I said to the waitress, "There's a fly swimming in my soup." She said: "You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle."

What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.

I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: "Have you a good memory for faces?" I asked why and she said: "Because there isn't a mirror up there."

Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?