I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside "made around the corner."

Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?

A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.

I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: "Have you a good memory for faces?" I asked why and she said: "Because there isn't a mirror up there."

I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.

A man up in front of a judge says "I don't recognise this court." "Why not?" "It's been redecorated since the last time I was here."

A man turns to the guy next to him who's covered in bandages from head to toe and asks "What happened?". "I fell through a glass window," explains the man. The first man says: "Lucky you were wearing all those bandages."