Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?
A man walks into a hospital feeling unwell and the doctor says: "Sorry, you've only got three minutes to live." The man said: "Can you do something for me?" "Yes," he said. "I'll boil you an egg."
I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside "made around the corner."
Two Irishmen were passing a pub - well, it could happen.
Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!
I'm staying in a lovely hotel, dressing robe behind the door, lovely fluffy sheets - took me a half an hour getting my suitcase closed.