A man goes into Boots and says: "Have you got any Viagra?" "Do you have a prescription?" asks the chemist. "No," he replies, "But 'I've got a photograph of the wife."

My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.

A man goes into Boots and says: "Have you got any Viagra?" "Do you have a prescription?" asks the chemist. "No," he replies, "But 'I've got a photograph of the wife."

My wife went into the butchers and said: "You've a sheep's head in your window." The butcher said: "That's a mirror."

What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a poodle peeing on your leg? You let the Rottweiler finish.

There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.

A man walks into a hospital feeling unwell and the doctor says: "Sorry, you've only got three minutes to live." The man said: "Can you do something for me?" "Yes," he said. "I'll boil you an egg."