I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: "Have you a good memory for faces?" I asked why and she said: "Because there isn't a mirror up there."

A man walks into a pet shop and says: "Give me a wasp." The shopkeeper replies: "We don't sell wasps." He says: "There's one in the window."

There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.

Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?

A man up in front of a judge says "I don't recognise this court." "Why not?" "It's been redecorated since the last time I was here."

I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.

A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.