The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.

The council in Blackpool have given the homeless bus passes, but how would they know where to get off?

A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.

An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband wanted to know who the other man was.

Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!

I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I was too well-oiled every night.

A man walked into a shop and asked, "How much are your eggs?" He said "£1.40 a dozen". He then asked: "How much are your cracked ones?" He said: "35p". He said: "Crack us four dozen."