Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!

What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a poodle peeing on your leg? You let the Rottweiler finish.

Two Irishmen were passing a pub - well, it could happen.

A man says to his mate: "My wife is a twin." His mate says, "How do you tell them apart?" The man says: "Her brother has a beard."

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind of a joke?"

Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?

I said to the waitress, "There's a fly swimming in my soup." She said: "You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle."