Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?

My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.

There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: "You can't eat your own food in here." So they swapped sandwiches.

I asked a shop owner if he could help me out. He said: "What way did you come in?"

My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.

I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: "Have you a good memory for faces?" I asked why and she said: "Because there isn't a mirror up there."

A girl asks her doctor, "Doctor, I've forgotten to take my contradictory pill!" The doctor says: "Are you ignorant?" The girl says: "Yes, three months!"