There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: "I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous."

My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.

I come from a family of musicians. Even the sewing machine is a Singer.

A man says to the doctor: "What's the good news?" "You've got 24 hours to live." He says: "What's the bad news?" The doctor says: "We should have told you yesterday."

My wife said to me: 'If you won the lottery, would you still love me?' I said: 'Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you.'

America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million.

I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside "made around the corner."