There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: "I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous."

A girl asks her doctor, "Doctor, I've forgotten to take my contradictory pill!" The doctor says: "Are you ignorant?" The girl says: "Yes, three months!"

My uncle Jimmy took liver salts twice a day for 40 years. He died on Sunday, was buried Wednesday and the following Friday they had to go to the cemetery to beat his liver to death with a stick.

There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: "I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous."

Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!

Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?

America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million.