My uncle Jimmy took liver salts twice a day for 40 years. He died on Sunday, was buried Wednesday and the following Friday they had to go to the cemetery to beat his liver to death with a stick.

My uncle Jimmy took liver salts twice a day for 40 years. He died on Sunday, was buried Wednesday and the following Friday they had to go to the cemetery to beat his liver to death with a stick.

I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals ... she has NEXT written on her knickers.

Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?

An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband wanted to know who the other man was.

I asked a shop owner if he could help me out. He said: "What way did you come in?"

A man turns to the guy next to him who's covered in bandages from head to toe and asks "What happened?". "I fell through a glass window," explains the man. The first man says: "Lucky you were wearing all those bandages."