This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.

Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?

There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.

Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!

A man up in front of a judge says "I don't recognise this court." "Why not?" "It's been redecorated since the last time I was here."

My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.

I asked a shop owner if he could help me out. He said: "What way did you come in?"