Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: "Have a drink on me." The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.

So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'.

Two Irishmen were passing a pub - well, it could happen.

An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband wanted to know who the other man was.

There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: "I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous."

What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.

My wife said to me: 'If you won the lottery, would you still love me?' I said: 'Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you.'