An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband wanted to know who the other man was.

There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.

I just want to apologise for being late. I was flying back from Spain and the air hostess said: "We are two hours late Mr Carson." When I asked why, she said: "The pilot has heard a funny noise in the engine that he doesn't like, so we are waiting on another pilot who can't hear it."

I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals ... she has NEXT written on her knickers.

I come from a family of musicians. Even the sewing machine is a Singer.

Two Irishmen were passing a pub - well, it could happen.

I asked a shop owner if he could help me out. He said: "What way did you come in?"