Michael is Janet and Janet is Michael.

He just got in the car, but the batteries dead. So he asks to use the phone and she gives him some head.

Listen honey, would I lie to you to get in your pants?

I don't want to see any religious people in public office because they're working for another boss.

I think the anti-smoking business is a yuppie invention-an extension of the concept that "we'll always be young, rich, and healthy.

Broken hearts are for assholes, are you an asshole?

People make a lot of fuss about my kids having such supposedly 'strange names', but the fact is that no matter what first names I might have given them, it is the last name that is going to get them in trouble.