How can I lose? I've already offended everybody!

I would say that today, dishonesty is the rule, and honesty the exception. It could be, statistically, that more people are honest than dishonest, but the few that really control things are not honest, and that tips the balance.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.

I don't want to see any religious people in public office because they're working for another boss.

He just got in the car, but the batteries dead. So he asks to use the phone and she gives him some head.

Maybe you should stay with your mama, you're kind of stupid and ugly, too.

Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy.