If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

I want a girl that can swallow my pride.

The richest people in the world aren't particularly smart or happy. And the happiest people in the world aren't particularly smart or rich.… That leaves me making music. But we can't talk about that.

Moses, Aaron, Abraham, they're all a waste of time. It's your ass that's on the line.

To me absurdity is the only reality

Her head is full of bubbles, her nose is petite, she looks like she never gets nothing to eat.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.