If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

I proceeded to take that mitten full of the deadly yellow snow crystals and rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous circular motion.

I mean, if you want to hurt yourself, go ahead. It's like, if you want to jack off, go ahead, just don't 'spoo' on a public bus or something . Do whatever you want to do. Just don't get it in somebody else's face.

Why do you necessarily have to be wrong just because a few million people think you are?

A wise man once said, never discuss philosophy or politics in a disco environment.

Books Are Good For Lots Of Uses, Not For Dropping In The Toilet.

Unbind your mind, there is no time.