Do we really want to know how Michael Jackson makes his music? No. We want to understand why he needs the bones of the Elephant Man -- and, until he tells us, it doesn't make too much difference whether or not he really is ''bad.

The difference between religions and cults is determined by how much real estate is owned.

Modern Americans behave as if intelligence were some sort of hideous deformity.

He just got in the car, but the batteries dead. So he asks to use the phone and she gives him some head.

Of course it's contrived, but once you know how its contrived, you can understand the editorial viewpoint. CNN, for example, when you see where they're really coming from, you can subtract their bias, and get some sort of facts. Sometimes the amount of bias that is imposed in these things is so laughable that it gives you an extra layer of entertainment.

It's better to have something to remember than anything to regret.

Elmore James only knew one lick, but you had the feeling that he meant it.