When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor.

I don't know how long i could be a vet before i got bored and started shagging stuff.

I want to trace my father, could you suggest a good marker pen?

Not only will America go to your country and kill all your people. But they'll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers feel sad.

For 3 Million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Satan in person.

The East End of Glasgow is like the Olympics. Lots of foriegners in tracksuits struggling to speak English.

The English are worried about the Euro being brought in because of loss of national identity and rising prices. In Scotland, people are just worried in case they have to close Poundstretcher.