I don't know how long i could be a vet before i got bored and started shagging stuff.

Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.

When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor.

I guess we were kinda poor when we were kids, but we didn't know it. That's because my dad always refused to let us look at the family's financial records.

I would have loved to have had a gay dad. At school, there were always kids saying 'my dad is bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!' So what? My dad will shag your dad..and your dad will enjoy it.

I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?

The owners of a dog which swallowed a diamond worth £12000 had to wait three days until it re-emerged. With a bit of planning it could have been a nice way to propose.