Not only will America go to your country and kill all your people. But they'll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers feel sad.

I feel sorry for Obama because he's still got to fight the innate racism of Americans. I mean, did you see his first speech, when he got made President and they put all that bullet proof glass in front of him? I think that shows you how racist America still is. Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anybody.

Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?

The East End of Glasgow is like the Olympics. Lots of foriegners in tracksuits struggling to speak English.

Let me ask you a question. How long is too long to text someone back? My wife still thinks I died in 9/11.

Why is it that it's okay to call a white person "mate" yet it's not okay to call a black guy "primate"?

Not only will America go to your country and kill all your people. But they'll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers feel sad.