Don't you think its quite weird for Prince Harry, getting really stoned and seeing your grans face appearing on your money.

Bisexuals are really attracted to senior Lib Dems - as they are both a man and a great big pussy.

I don't know how long i could be a vet before i got bored and started shagging stuff.

Welcome to Glasgow - the city where we punch people who are on fire.

Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative: aye right.

If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.

It turns out your not dyslexic, your just really really stupid.