I feel sorry for Obama because he's still got to fight the innate racism of Americans. I mean, did you see his first speech, when he got made President and they put all that bullet proof glass in front of him? I think that shows you how racist America still is. Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anybody.

I feel sorry for Obama because he's still got to fight the innate racism of Americans. I mean, did you see his first speech, when he got made President and they put all that bullet proof glass in front of him? I think that shows you how racist America still is. Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anybody.

Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative: aye right.

The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?

Now, the magic of British parks at night, as Bill Oddie presents.. Gaywatch.

They're always going, don't deal with terrorists. Let's deal with them. What's Allah offering you boys, 100 virgins? We'll give you 50 slags.

Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?