Now, the magic of British parks at night, as Bill Oddie presents.. Gaywatch.

When I heard Cristiano Ronaldo was pictured holding a manbag, I was surprised it was a gucci bag and not another guy's sack.

They're always going, don't deal with terrorists. Let's deal with them. What's Allah offering you boys, 100 virgins? We'll give you 50 slags.

Stephen Hawking: Brainier than Kurt Cobain's garage wall.

I can't help thinking the failed New York bomber would've done far more damage if he'd simply driven throught Times Square in a Toyota.

Political correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk.

Let me ask you a question. How long is too long to text someone back? My wife still thinks I died in 9/11.