Now, the magic of British parks at night, as Bill Oddie presents.. Gaywatch.

I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.

Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.

If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.

Welcome to Glasgow - the city where we punch people who are on fire.

Political correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk.

It turns out your not dyslexic, your just really really stupid.