The East End of Glasgow is like the Olympics. Lots of foriegners in tracksuits struggling to speak English.

I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?

The East End of Glasgow is like the Olympics. Lots of foriegners in tracksuits struggling to speak English.

RyanAir have been getting a hard time because they've launched a £7 flight to New York. Although as always with RyanAir it does land slightly outside of New York. In Dublin.

Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot, but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!

Apparently they're going to bring in 'Super Asbos'. But 'Asbos' already sound too cool. Teenagers see them as a badge of honour. They should call them 'Gaybos' or 'Bender Badges'.

I guess we were kinda poor when we were kids, but we didn't know it. That's because my dad always refused to let us look at the family's financial records.