Stephen Hawking: Brainier than Kurt Cobain's garage wall.

I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?

Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.

As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.

Let me ask you a question. How long is too long to text someone back? My wife still thinks I died in 9/11.

Victoria Beckham looks like she has a dump once every four years. That's probably how David knows that there's a World Cup coming up.

RyanAir have been getting a hard time because they've launched a £7 flight to New York. Although as always with RyanAir it does land slightly outside of New York. In Dublin.