Bisexuals are really attracted to senior Lib Dems - as they are both a man and a great big pussy.

I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?

I don't know how long i could be a vet before i got bored and started shagging stuff.

RyanAir have been getting a hard time because they've launched a £7 flight to New York. Although as always with RyanAir it does land slightly outside of New York. In Dublin.

I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.

My dad is one of the funniest people I know. He's the sort of man who can make you laugh just by reading out of a telephone directory... He's a spastic.

Now, the magic of British parks at night, as Bill Oddie presents.. Gaywatch.