Why is it that it's okay to call a white person "mate" yet it's not okay to call a black guy "primate"?

The government are considering spending £3million on a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher when she dies. For £3million they could buy everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we'll dig a hole deep enough to deliver her to Satan ourselves.

I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?

I want to trace my father, could you suggest a good marker pen?

As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.

I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.

If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.