Why is it that it's okay to call a white person "mate" yet it's not okay to call a black guy "primate"?

The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?

I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.

Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.

My dad is one of the funniest people I know. He's the sort of man who can make you laugh just by reading out of a telephone directory... He's a spastic.

Political correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk.

They're always going, don't deal with terrorists. Let's deal with them. What's Allah offering you boys, 100 virgins? We'll give you 50 slags.