Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative: aye right.

Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative: aye right.

Congratulations you're 18!... On a list of 20 people I'm going to kill.

Let me ask you a question. How long is too long to text someone back? My wife still thinks I died in 9/11.

People who think there's no good way to die have obviously never heard the phrase 'Drug-fuelled-sex-heart-attack'.

Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.

It turns out your not dyslexic, your just really really stupid.