I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.
Frankie BoylePolitical correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk.
Frankie BoyleThe owners of a dog which swallowed a diamond worth £12000 had to wait three days until it re-emerged. With a bit of planning it could have been a nice way to propose.
Frankie BoyleDon't you think its quite weird for Prince Harry, getting really stoned and seeing your grans face appearing on your money.
Frankie BoyleThe only award I've been nominated for is a Scottish BAFTA. A Scottish BAFTA, it's like hearing that the animals have their own Olympics. You hear all this stuff about TV being faked. Of course it's faked. It's all faked. That documentary a couple of weeks ago about tribal warfare among monkeys, that was all filmed in a Yates wine lodge in Dundee. Comic Relief is faked. Everybody in Africa is fine.
Frankie Boyle