For 3 Million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Satan in person.

Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.

The owners of a dog which swallowed a diamond worth £12000 had to wait three days until it re-emerged. With a bit of planning it could have been a nice way to propose.

I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?

In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.

Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot, but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!

RyanAir have been getting a hard time because they've launched a £7 flight to New York. Although as always with RyanAir it does land slightly outside of New York. In Dublin.