Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.

When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.