To a newspaperman, a human being is an item with skin wrapped around it.

An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.

Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.