When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes.
I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.
The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.
On ships they call them barnacles; in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
Television is a triumph of equipment over people.