If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race.
An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.