Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.

Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is.