All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
My hometown was so dull that one time the tide went out and never came back.
Television is the triumph of machine over people.
During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.
Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.
A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.