Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter.

On ships they call them barnacles; in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.

Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.

When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.