Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.

Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is.

The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.