A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter.

Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.

A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.

English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.

Television is the triumph of machine over people.