A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines.

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.

He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes.

I was just working in the shop and all of a sudden something just triggered in me, and I started shaking. And then I walked back into the house and my wife asked, 'What's the matter?' And I said, 'I don't feel good.' And tears, uncontrollable tears, was coming out of my eyes and she says, 'What's the matter?' And I told her. I said, 'I just thought about that execution that I did two days ago, and everybody else's that I was involved in.' And what it was, something triggered within, and it just, everybody - all of these executions all sprung forward.

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.