Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.
English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race.
An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.