An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.

If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race.

It was once rumored that fledgling executives walked around their offices backwards so they wouldn't have to face an issue.

He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.