On ships they call them barnacles; in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.

An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.

The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a friend who owns a beret.

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.