On ships they call them barnacles; in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.

He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.

Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.

It was once rumored that fledgling executives walked around their offices backwards so they wouldn't have to face an issue.

My hometown was so dull that one time the tide went out and never came back.