I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Everything is for the eye these days - TV, Life, Look, the movies. Nothing is just for the mind. The next generation will have eyeballs as big as cantaloupes and no brain at all.

I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines.

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting my quill back in my goose.

Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.

Television is a triumph of equipment over people.

Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.