I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.

During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.