I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.

A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done.

On ships they call them barnacles; in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.