Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
To a newspaperman, a human being is an item with skin wrapped around it.
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.