After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a friend who owns a beret.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.

Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.

Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.