The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.

The world is a grindstone and life is your nose

Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.