My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.
An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.
I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.