He's so small, he's a waste of skin.

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.

Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.