Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals.

My hometown was so dull that one time the tide went out and never came back.

Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four