Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
He writes so well he makes me feel like putting my quill back in my goose.
Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.