I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines.
Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
The world is a grindstone and life is your nose
He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes.
An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.